JACKSONFOONG

火力全开

2012-01-02T23:10:00.002+08:00

王力宏这首“火力全开”非常的Ｋｅｉｓｈａ！让我真的很。。。=.=""
但是这首歌很适合表现今年的我！

我终于回到我自己了！
而且这次更加的火上加火了！
呵呵！！

Love U U

2011-12-01T09:24:00.005+08:00

莎士比亚曾经说过 “再美好的东西都有失去的一天。再深的记忆也有淡忘的一天。再爱的人，也有远走的一天。再美的梦也有苏醒的一天。该放弃的决不挽留。该珍惜的决不放手，分手后不可以做朋友，因为彼此伤害过！也不可以做敌人，因为彼此深爱过！”

就是看了Love U U 这部电影让我了解到我应该珍惜她。
人生有多少个遗憾可以挽回？
人生有多少个她比你父母还要了解你？
人生中有多少个她原意为你默默地忍耐？
更重要的是，人生有多少个她愿意原谅你对她的伤害而还在关心你呢？

和她在一起我很开心，很安心。因为我的想法她都很了解。
我的一言一举她都看得出。。。
我一直以来因为过去对她的伤害耿耿于怀，更因为和她一起多年的回忆一直残留在我脑海中。。
而不与自在的打开她的部落格，了解她的伤心和开心。。
但是每次看到她伤心会很在乎但又不想留言。。只能默默地为她鼓励。。

如果今天是我最后一天，我希望她会留在我的身边。
原来我没有了她，我会迷失方向，更会迷失了我自己。。。

I had Enough!

2011-10-02T00:42:00.003+08:00

Perhaps due to the loneliness that is inside of me,
I had been someone who have lost his mind and soul and most of all, his pride!
Losing all my senses to judge myself,
I am afraid I don't know the feeling that I had for either of the one i used to love most or the one i felt for.

I don't know how to say this either.
But it's like an urge for survive...
Holding on everything you could when you are falling down from high...
Holding on every chances you could when you know you are going to fail...
and for my affair that had haunted me for almost one year.

Holding on someone that I don't understand at all, but it's just a feeling that I had.
Selfishly, I tried hard to impress her knowing that I have no idea what the consequence and ignored the responsibility behind.

I am just like a wolf, a beast or a monster.
Hunger for something that wasn't meant to be mine.
LOVE?
LOVED perhaps. It's a something I would said that it is a past.
I used to be loved. And I too loved someone deeply.

I don't wish to give myself anymore excuses!
I am done with this!
I could only admit that I had been selfish and naive at the same time.

PERHAPS, things was meant to be this way:
A man who do not treasure his love one,
should not be love,
unless he understand the real meaning behind of the word itself.

I thought I could stand tall and high,
Without realizing it myself,
That I, Jackson Foong Wei Hern, too was too dependent on the bond we call
"love"!

It's alright,now that I had enough!
I want to regain my pride and stand up tall again from the lost.
I wish not be a fool who only hang on to the past...

Life is about moving forward with every little step you could afford.
And not holding on something that is past!

Maroon 5 - If I Ain't Got You

2011-08-25T11:35:00.000+08:00

Yeah...oh

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game

Some people think that the physical things define what's within
And I have been there before and that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them, oh

Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be, oh
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me?

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you-you-you

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby
There ain't nothing in this whole wide world, doesn't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

努力改变！努力回到我自己！

2011-08-14T10:05:00.002+08:00

我会努力的改变自己，
虽然我知道我的改变不会改变你对我的看法，
但是我相信会有那么一天你会对我另眼相看！

是你出现在我的生活中，
是你让我做不到我自己，
是你说我们都是透明的。

我只想走我要走的路罢了！
如果你觉得我不是你的菜，
我不在乎，我只是个洋葱，
永远是个调味品。。。

狂野的我不是甜美的你的白马王子，
火的燃烧可以烧尽一切，
如果你在这时候接近我，
你也一样会被我心中的怒火伤害。。

或许这样也好。。。
我会慢慢的走回我的路。。。
慢慢的忘记你的存在。。。
这是我对你的最后一个承诺！
也是对我的人格的一个承诺！

再次为我的未来燃烧心中这怒火吧！

2011-08-12T22:02:00.000+08:00

如果我愿意为了你而努力，你愿意给我一次机会吗？

我很累，我想放弃所有！

2011-07-04T23:57:00.003+08:00

我有想过放弃所有！
我所坚强的都一一让我失望。。。
是我太固执了？
是我太糊涂了？
还是我太傻了？

固执之所以在乎，
越在乎的越快失去，
越不在乎的慢慢领取；

慢慢的领悟，原来固执没什么好处的！！

有那么一段时间我很想放弃所有，
那颗心就好像漂浮在大海上的。。。
迷失在一片无边界的蓝色海洋。。。

所坚强的都失去了，
但是我还是答应了自己，
我有我的原则，我有我的方向，我有我的速度，
累坏了，休息；饱满了，冲刺！

如果你觉得我很奇怪，很疯狂，很荒野！
那是因为你对我的不了解！
我只是在用忙碌来忘记所有！
累坏的身体就不会再忽视乱想。。。

"Goodbye!"

2011-06-26T11:08:00.005+08:00

I asked for a chance to be friends,
putting down my pride and my dignity,
acting like a fool in front of you.
All I wish for is a chance to be friend.
Just back to where we were before.
But I guess I am just a beast, an animal and a monster after-all!
I don't even deserve a look from you now.

I had been a fool long enough.
And I know that all the time I had annoyed you enough.

So,
Even with the pain in my chest, I will walk away this time.
"Goodbye!"

2011-06-11T22:47:00.000+08:00

如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临
如果你能听到心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你
沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己像是空气

大家都吃著聊著笑著
今晚多开心
最角落里的我笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你
偷偷的隐藏著自己

如果你愿意一层一层
一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑
最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层
一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意

听你说你和你的他们
暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望装得很风趣
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情

如果你愿意一层一层
一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑
最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层
一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意

你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意

Moving Forward

2011-05-19T23:51:00.002+08:00

Somehow i could feel that everyone else are moving forward...
Somewhat so rapidly that i couldn't catch up anymore...
Am I too slow myself? or Am i just being Lazy?
You see the only problem i have is that i often runaway from the problem.

Even thou i act like a warrior but i am actually a coward!
Sadly, that is the fact!!
While others are archiving what they aim for,
I am cowardly hiding myself alone in my small room. Living a World of my own.

Sometimes i wonder if i am still the same like before?
Yeah, i did improved so far. But it seem to me that i am still no where i should be.

Maybe dad was right! I should stop all the distraction.
Love... Game... and most importantly...
STOP Procrastinating!!!

I found that i am capable to deal with problem well.
I ain't no stupid! I could get good solution sometimes...
but the matter now is that i am lazy, so i started to procrastinate...
So I am back to square one now. Year 2 Sem 1.
After dealing with all the mess, this time it shall be a new beginning.
I have to force myself this time as i have no more reason now.
I break up so i could run faster. I confessed so i could smack myself on my face to move forward. What else?

It doesn't matter what, my aim in UTAR is to score a ticket to GTFO of Here!
There are still lots for me to learn and improve.So i made myself a list here...
Wish that this time I will strike for the Best!

Y2S1 Do list:
1. Stop Being L.A.Z.Y!
2. Stop thinking bout girls. They will only make u miserable( But i like being 1 :P)
3. Continue workout!
4. Live in Library.
5. Be Responsible.

Sometimes i look into tomorrow and forgotten i had today...

2011-05-01T04:14:00.002+08:00

看着未来忘了现在。。。

我常常想着明天我该做些什么，将来应该怎么做等等，
但是我从来没真正去想过我现在应该怎么走我的人生?
要改变这个坏习惯哦！不然到老还是。。。明天的事明天做。。。
今天的事什么都做不到。。

一直以来我都想着，如果明天我活不到太阳下山时，
我现在应该怎么做呢？
当然就这样你会是第一个出现在我脑海里的人，
第一就很想和你说清楚。。但是我永远都鼓不起勇气。。。
如果我活不到明天那么我想你是我最后想遇到的人了！

但是我从来不好好想想，如果明天和后天我都会一直活下去，
我现在应该怎么做呢？
这时候，我该想想我的梦想，我的未来，和我对自己的承诺！
第一样就是我应该把握今天。。。

如果我还希望每天和你那样的距离，
我想我需要所有的勇气；

如果我还希望带给最爱的人幸福，
我想我需要所有的力量；

如果我还希望有一天我会成功，
我想我需要更加的努力；

如果我还活着一直到老，
我想我需要充分的每一天！！

突然想着想着，那股火就慢慢的燃烧了！
对！我最需要的就是这股火热的血，燃烧我的人生！
其实你的笑容就是点燃我心里的火花！
我靠这么一点东西和我自己拼了！！

无济于事

2011-04-21T15:55:00.002+08:00

有时候我知道我很笨，很傻！
怎么想我也不觉得自己有什么优点，
但是我还是坚持的争取，努力的改变，刻苦耐劳的奋斗，
因为我不希望我最在乎的离我而去。。。

我不喜欢这种感觉，
眼睁睁看着而什么都不做，
感觉我一定会遗憾终生一样!

要大考了才临时抱佛脚，
这学期成绩没什么希望了！
但是我还是会逼自己去努力，
不简单呢！懒惰虫要努力，要发成功梦耶！

我不笨！我只是有点懒惰！
只要我愿意，那么大家等着看吧！

只有一些东西，再怎么努力也只是无济于事。。。
你知道吗？
我蛮喜欢这个距离。。。
远远的，默默地，看着你；
不管我的心受了多少伤，
只要能看着你的笑容我就心满意足了！

但是我忽然很害怕，
害怕这个距离会变得无限的距离，
我们的距离从此比陌生人还遥远。。。

唉！人生就是这样，
多么在乎的，多么渴望的，多么不愿意，
到最后，还是说声：“拜拜！”

有缘无分

2011-04-08T18:47:00.002+08:00

觉得很奇怪，每次希望遇到你时，你都不会出现。。。
就像今天放学时一样，希望再见你一眼，但你的出现我没察觉。。。
可是，每次希望不会遇到你，你就会突然出现。。。
这叫缘分吗？
有缘无分吧！

我不知道什么时候开始，
慢慢的习惯较简单的满足，
你开心就好，
你开心我自然也觉得很开心，
这就好了！

咱们命中注定擦肩而过，
有缘无分。。。
有可能你会奇怪我为什么不去把握？
是因为把握只会弄到大家更辛苦！
慢慢的发现原来我本来就不应该出现。。。

Smile

2011-04-03T00:07:00.004+08:00

How am i suppose to say this...
Everywhere i go,
Every thing i do,
Every moment passed,
you caught my mind with just your smile.

Even thou i understand well that i shouldn't be doing this,
I should have left all this behind.
But if only if, i could do so...
I wouldn't be taking the bitter pill down the throat silently...

Funny,
When i am stress, I think of your smile;
Think of how it made me felt so relief last time...

Funny,
When i am happy, I think of your smile;
Think of how i could do the same for you to make you smile happier...

Funny,
When i am sad, I think of your smile;
Think of how sweet it is when you are with others...

Funny,
Never would i thought something so simple,a smile,
would make my life so complicated....

刘德华-Slip Away (lyrics)

2011-03-27T16:48:00.001+08:00

Every time I look into the mirror of my mind
I barely recognise the man I see
He used to be a dreamer. He used to be like me
But I can see the sadness in his eyes
And he's no longer who I want to be
If I could I would change my yesterday
I would listen to my heart and then today
I'd see What true love could be and I won't let tomorrow
I won't let tomorrow slip away
I feel the tide is turning and I'm stranded out at sea
Hoping for my rescue to arrive
The coulds have all turned grey And now the waves are crashing in I thought I could survive but reality has got the better part of me
If I could I would change my yesterday
I would listen to my heart and then today
I'd see What true love could be and I won't let tomorrow
I won't let tomorrow slip away
I'll make a promise to myself
That I will live each day just like it was the last time
I'll ever see your face again
If I could I would change my yesterday
I would listen to my heart and then today
I'd see What true love could be and I won't let tomorrow
I won't let tomorrow slip away
If I could I would change my yesterday
I would listen to my heart and then today
I'd see What true love could be and I won't let tomorrow
I won't let tomorrow
and I won't let tomorrow
I won't let tomorrow slip away

Retreat? Hell ya'!

2011-03-13T21:32:00.005+08:00

I am being raised as a warrior or a fighter.
I am built for the front line, to charge forward whatever the situation is!

However things isn't the way i think it is...
If i could, i would charge now; with all my mights and strength,

bringing everything down with me...

But lately i found myself buried deep into the ground,

into the lost ground of feelings and emotion.

I am not afraid to lost a battle nor afraid of a dead.
What i am afraid now is that i couldn't hold my emotion anymore.

I had lost my strength to control myself.

At that moment, i was really feeling so uncomfortable,

i was sad, i was angry and i admit i do feel jealous...

For the moment i was nearly collapse...

I, for that hours, had find myself lost all my strength to stand.

Even to face my Statistic midterm.

Thank my Gods, for my prayer to reach THEM,

for them to lend me the strength i needed.

Namo amitofu!

However, come to think about it, who am i suppose to feel so?

I am no one but a stranger.

There are tons of things on my shoulder,

I am not on my own.
I don't afford to collapse as I see myself as the mountain that would bury the people around me if i was to collapse...

Sorry! This time i am afraid i am really pulling myself out,

from this feeling i had even by the mean of force.

To the extend of steal or take by force....

I am walking off!

I don't want to be a friend if you don't wish so.

I don't even want to be your partner as i found us not suitable to do so.

Moreover, I never had an intention of so ever since we meet.

If i was given an opportunity to explain myself i wish that i could, but i wasn't.

I am no one now other than just an admirer.

Retreat? Hell ya'!
I am just walking off toward another objective of mine!
Don't Mind Me!

另一个我

2011-03-01T18:41:00.004+08:00

三月一号，今天将会是另一个我，

坚持的我也是时候学习放弃了！

放弃不代表我懦弱，

我只是不希望把问题弄得更复杂而已！

你种在我的这个刺，我会先忽略它。

虽然我相信有时候它还会隐隐约约的刺痛我的心口，

但是，我想大家还是先有个距离比较好。

别让误会越来越糟糕！

三月有很多midterms和assignments，

一个接一个的涌向我们。

四月也会有不少lab test的。

过后又有final了！真的是忙得不得开交！

而且最近自大的我在bio lab test里真的吃了不少苦头！

我想暂时专心在学业上比较好。

我可有很大的野心，很大的责任，

不能再为一些不在乎我的人而过分的在乎。。。

我还有父母对我的期望，

我对自己的要求，

还有对将来的梦想。。。。

这些都不允许我再一次犯错！

我不是完美，对！

但是我不会再原谅自己的错误！

机会真的真的就只有这一次而已！

如果你看到这，

我倒希望我的退出能让你更加专心的努力备考！

加油哦！

自私的我

2011-02-26T21:48:00.000+08:00

你还爱她吗？我还担心她。
你还喜欢她吗？我还关心她。
你很自私！我想我也是！

爱的给不了她要的爱，我就让她走，让她找到更好的。
喜欢的给不了她任何东西，我就让她走，让她更加的自由。

Bii - 轉身之後

2011-02-23T19:27:00.002+08:00

和你相約在這裡有些事想說明
我的決定你卻不願意聽

我知道你想逃避不想問不想听
這段感情已經快要暫停

聽我說從今後我會一個人生活
沒有我的時候你要一個人好好過

在我轉身之後你卻又抱著我
在放手以後不再擁有彼此的溫柔

在我轉身之後你的淚不停流
雖然心很痛卻只能說
分開以後我就要遠走

我知道你想逃避不想問不想听
這段感情已經快要暫停
聽我說從今後我會一個人生活
沒有我的時候你要一個人好好過

在我轉身之後你卻又抱著我
在放手以後不再擁有彼此的溫柔

在我轉身之後你的淚不停流
雖然心很痛卻只能說
分開以後我就要遠走

在我轉身之後你卻又抱著我
在放手以後不再擁有彼此的溫柔

在我轉身之後你的淚不停流
雖然心很痛卻只能說
分開以後我就要遠走

P.S: 韩文版也很棒！

童话

2011-02-22T20:08:00.004+08:00

刚才一直有一首熟悉的歌忽然在我脑海里徘徊，
上网找着找着我忽然发现了这个EP。
童话，光良当时在我中学时期最让大马年青人爱护的专辑！
虽然童话这首歌已经在当时因为我喜欢的人拒绝我后已经恨恨的在我心口中画上了句点。。。
但是今天听起这个专辑的歌，忽然胸口上一顿热感。。。
原来我的恋爱也真的经历过很多甜美苦辣！
甜的是，有个美好的她在我身旁；
苦的是，像个傻瓜一样默默喜欢一个人；
美的是，能好好的爱一个人；
辣的是，我又回到了原点。。。

生活已经不再像个童话般了！
每天都忙着赶功课，赶上课！
就连要运动的时间也要特别抽出来才能！
每天都带着一个面具去面对人生。。。
可是，我还是那么的希望有个童话般的恋爱。。。

可惜，童话本来就只是童话，
现实生活还是不是一般的残酷！

今早和教授聊了聊，忽然聊到结婚，
我说现在的时代，没钱，没车，没房屋，
不要说结婚，就连谈恋爱都要考虑！
我不是说现在的女生都爱富有的男人，
只是说真的，没有能力给一个你爱的她幸福，
我觉得我真的没有那个资格去学人说爱。。。
喜欢还好吧！爱么？我还不能。。。

喜欢做傻瓜，
喜欢当笨蛋，
喜欢傻傻的看着你，
喜欢你的简单，
喜欢你恨我的眼神，
喜欢偷偷瞄你一眼，（我不是变态！！！只是有点点咯！哈哈！）
喜欢你的微笑，
可是我还是爱我自己！:)!

别说，你懂天蝎

2011-02-22T19:54:00.000+08:00

别说你懂天蝎，他们没你想象的坚强，只是他们明白：把伤口显露给别人看，毫无意义。在他们平静而冰冷的表情背后，早已伤痕累累，躲起来，是为了更好地疗伤。如果你看得懂，你会知道这背后藏了多少故事。

别说你懂天蝎，别以为你的谎言可以欺骗他们，不说出来，是因为：1，爱你，在忍受；2，好奇，观察你之后的举动和他们的推测是否一样，说白了就是当你是白老鼠；3，你在他们心理面一文不值，懒得理你；4，你对他们的实际利益毫无影响；5，收拾你的时机未到。

别说你懂天蝎，对你抛媚眼，微笑，不代表真的喜欢你，专一的天蝎，其实也会贪玩，偶尔也会借着放电，试验自己的魅力，更有可能，这个所谓的媚眼不过是他们眼睛无意识眨巴了一下，让你误会了。

别说你懂天蝎，不是他们攻击性强，喜欢找茬，而是你在他们心里真的好重要，他们很想知道：在你心里，他们是否也重要？大仲马说： “争吵与伤害，正是试探爱的手段。”吵架，是他们证明爱情的一种方式。

别说你懂天蝎，他们看似温和冷静的外表下，内里的心脆弱如冰，却又炽热如火。你细小的行为，甚至无意的语句，都可能如针一样刺得他们生痛生痛，他们是很注重细节的人。如果你在他们心里很重要的话。

别说你懂天蝎，精明的外表下，其实很大条，对朋友，对亲人，是出乎意料的包容，爱护，如果他们真的当你是朋友，对你会很照顾，不会做对不起你的事。

别说你懂天蝎，以为天蝎傻，不能领会你的爱意，其实，他们早就心中有数，你的讯息，他们早就收到了，只不过，看他们是否愿意有进一步的行动而已。

别说你懂天蝎，在爱情的世界，天蝎座绝对是一个站在“主”位的角色，即使刚开始，他们显示出善解人意，照顾对方，那是他们对爱情的一个掌握度，他们清楚什么时候，自己该扮演什么角色。

别说你懂天蝎，对待爱情，他们很无私，能为自己的爱人付出所有；同时，也很自私，要求爱人要服从自己。对爱人，他们希望绝对了解，而同时自己却保持神秘感，不希望被完全看透。

别说你懂天蝎，他们分手的表现特别狠，那是因为他们受到了巨大的伤害，狠，不过是保护自己的一种手段，同时也不想自己继续受伤。平时果断的天蝎，在对待爱情，其实很犹豫的，对自己的深爱的人，始终会心存幻想，有时，几句甜言蜜语就又可以让他们难舍难离。

别说你懂天蝎，他们不是离经叛道，而是内心，他们有自己的的一套行为标准，方式，越是成熟的蝎子，越是这样，轻易不改变。
别说你懂天蝎，他们其实不善于伪装，因为不屑；他们同时也很善于伪装，在必要的时候。

别说你懂天蝎，面对不和你争论，不是词穷理屈，不是怕了你，而是内心觉得你不配，懒得睬你，天蝎，远比你想象的要骄傲。天蝎同时也认为：实力是做出来的，不是说出来的。而一但天蝎专注一件事，往往的确能让那些说三道四的闭嘴。

别说你懂天蝎，上一秒，面对敌人出手快很准的他们，同样会为弱者流泪。天蝎的内心都是柔弱，悲悯的。
别说你懂天蝎，他们的内心并不入你想象的黑暗，相反，要比你想象中善良。

别说你懂天蝎，他们不是不善于与人建立亲密的关系，而是他们比一般人看得透“人性”，他们信奉：君子之交淡如水。

别说你懂天蝎，他们并不是肉欲之上的，相反，内心深处，他们对于爱情的想法是相当纯结的，这也是他们为什么不能容忍背叛的原因，得不到全部，就宁愿不要。

别说你懂天蝎，他们即使会用计谋，可并不是你想象中的阴险，相反，他们是很佩服那些有真能力，真本事的人。他们信奉：实力至上，愿赌服输。

别说，你懂天蝎，因为，有时候连他们自己都不明白自己。是天使？是魔鬼？

渴望着的微笑

2011-02-21T11:07:00.004+08:00

最近都坐立不安，一直又一直的想念着你的微笑。
每天晚上到了某个时间，我的心情就像闹钟一样，
定时从最高掉落到最低！
定时的想念你的笑容！
回忆就慢慢的出现在我脑海里。。。

好怀念当时在课室外和你的聊天，
好怀念你以那灿烂的笑容和我打招呼！
虽然很普通的笑容，但是它常浮现在我脑海里！
就因为你简单的笑容能顿时让我忘记了所有的烦恼。。。
整个人都有种飘飘然的感觉。。。

可惜我已不会再见到那个笑容了，
因为你只会以最冷淡的眼神面对我。
每次你的冷淡都会刺痛我的内心。
可是都已经几个月了，这样的感觉都渐渐麻木了我的心！
每次看到你那眼神我都会跟自己说，
‘习惯就好！’

真的很希望有一天我们还能做回朋友，
我真的不希望同样的剧本，同样的故事，不同的主角
又再一次出现在我人生。。。

四年后的情人节

2011-02-14T22:05:00.003+08:00

分手后的第一个情人节，
我和朋友疯疯癫癫的吃了晚餐后，
回到宿舍第一样就想到我要洗厕所了！
以前因为你来我才会努力洗厕所，但是现在都没有女人要用我的厕所了！
所以每次想到洗它就会十分懒惰的！

四年了哦！我们都在这四年里的情人节有过不少甜蜜的回忆。
但是今年我们都只在自己的页数里写上一个人独过情人。。。
看着以前你送我的礼物，我想起我也蛮幸福的！
有一个那么惹人疼爱的女朋友。
还记得你那张卡，写着爱我的一百个理由。。。

对不起！是我辜负了你！
自己在自己的世界里奔跑，头也不回的把你抛在后头!
然后我又恨心的把大家童话般的故事里花上了一个句点。。。。
说真的我不习惯当坏人！
每个人都以那种眼神看待我！
每个人都认为我是那种喜新厌旧的男人！
忠实的天蝎还是会演变成伤人最深的坏男人！

但是我不在乎，因为我觉得我们在一起只会伤得更深！
你对我已经毫无信任，我也不是以前那个我。
我还记得分手前你说过，你比较爱以前的那个我。
但是我很喜欢现在的我，因为现在的我真的了解了很多以前我不了解的东西！
感觉就好像我们在一起真的很幼稚！很像童话般！
梦醒了，生活还是一事无成！（我说我啦！）

手机里的信息，电脑里的照片我都把它们好好的封锁起来！
我不愿意解除它们，因为它们是你给我的唯一的回忆！
但是我更加没有勇气面对它们。
因为我还怕，我还害怕当坏男人。。。。

谢谢你宝贝！是你让我了解了什么叫真爱！什么叫forever love。。。
是你让我变得更加成熟了！而我却让你跌得更深！
对不起！我真的希望当时我的选择没有做错，
给不到你将来，我愿意还你现在！
我知道我给不到你要的，以前的幸福已变成伤害！
在还没伤得更深前，我让你寻找更好的幸福！
外面还有比我更好的男人！
至少你和他们不会有距离的存在！
没有因为距离的搞怪而失去的信任！

唉！成熟的思想，幼稚的性格！
有时候我很讨厌这样的我！
那种让人失去信心的幼稚老男人！
现在的我可不是什么白马王子，
只是一身穿着一套又一套装甲的黑暗骑士！
身上散发的恐惧让别人都觉得很讨厌！
一颗被无数装甲包围着的心，
每天都以幼稚的行为，疯狂的样子来隐藏自己!

可是我不后悔，这样的我才是真正的我想要的，
那种默默地为自己的幸福努力！默默地追求梦想！
我现在只想为我的将来努力奔跑！
放开一切，放开所有！
头也不回头的跑！

在此我衷心希望你找到更好的另一半！
也让我脱离罪恶的影子里！

我没有资格说爱，也只能静静的喜欢！
但是喜欢永远不是爱！爱一个人真的需要很大的勇气！

热坏？累坏！

2011-02-08T23:56:00.002+08:00

今天天气很热呢！可能这个原因我上课很快就累倒了！

上完Practical我早就半生死了！

Replacement Lecture的时候又迟进班，结果都找不到位置坐！

还好有我表妹在！

但是就是因为太累了，所以都不想听课。一直在那里闲呆！

难得呢！！我最爱的科目和教授，我应该会有心情听课的！

每次上课应该都会battle mode 的吧！

但是就是提不起精神。

是不是外婆有事而影响呢？

外婆她应该没事的！她一定等我戴个四方帽孝顺她的！

婆，我爱你！你坚强哦！

说到坚强，我就在Replacement Lecture里一堆熟悉的背影里找到一个属于你的！

说真的！我真的没想到今天会有机会那么近观察你的背影。

嗯！怎么说呢？一定不是Bethoven的类型啦！哈哈哈！！

宽大的肩膀，坚强的性格！敬佩！敬佩！

朋友都说你不适合我，那么文静的女人，怎么可能适合那么鸡杂的我哦？！

呵呵！他们都不知道！我需要的就是一个文静的家，安顿的生活！

文静就是我最高要求！

但是，我觉得应该是我自己不适合你吧！

我什么都不是，什么都没有！

在你面前更加什么都不是！

双拳握起有的只是我的咆哮！

实力，力量和理智，都没有！

杰克冯！醒醒吧！你还和你的世界慢了几拍！

还有好多好多事情要做要烦啊！

这一年好好的去追回所有失去的一却了！一年！

就给我自己一年的时间对自己残忍！

一年后就拜拜咯！！

如果是伤害，我能接受的只有一年！

一年里我让我自己污辱我的尊严！

P.S:- 对了！天气热就多喝点水啦！听话才不会生病！

Gong Xi HUAT Chai!!

2011-02-03T21:29:00.003+08:00

Just few days before Chinese New Year, I was so HUAT ar!!!
Dragged into a fight between the jealousy of a crazy fella and my bro!
It all happen out of surprise! I was just wanted to go for a supper with my friend, pohni, and then i was in the middle of a fella charging toward the ex-girlfriend of his..
!@#$%^&%$#@
Yeah man! Why i was dragged in?
But surprisingly i had remained cool and chilled down when the things happen. I was able to hold myself back.
Back then if you tried to charge at me or my friend, i would had send the person to the hospital and make sure he had a few broken bones. That night i sent him to the wall once, and fly him to the floor on his second charge. But, i didn't send my punches down on him even thou i did admit i did think of such at that moment. But i didn't. I don't wish to make things complicated.

That fella was nuts! If i wasn't there, i guess the pity ex would had been in hospital indeed with the fella keep on mumbling he wanted to kill someone. Some more he kept on saying some weird words.. like in anime.. u see ppl gets crazy and started to curse something with japanese words and u wont know a damn thing he is saying. Neither his friends understand what he is saying.
He even charged at my car when i was trying to bring the girl out of Kampar. I managed to send him to the floor with the INERTIA theory. (thanks physic teacher! LoL!)
And went off sending the girls out of town. And i heard the ex of his said he went to jump westlake...=.="! I was like.. WTF!!!!!!

The next day, the ex was staying in my hostel. Cuz she was too afraid to back to her room. And it was the night that i have to ready myself totally for any battle. Not that i really wanted to give him a piece of my mind. However, the only way to defeat a crazy fella who would came in your hostel to attack your friend, obviously i have to make sure i am ready to be much more crazy then him. Muahahhahaha!
The ultimate of defend, was to offend before hand!
Unleashing my adrenaline into my blood vessels, i could feel my heart pumping up and down on the night. Waiting for a battle. Instead, i could say i urge for a battle that night which ended nothing happen. Pffftt!!!

Things gets settle down slowly few days later. What left was a meet with the fella again and with his parents.

I could hardly imagine such dramatic storyline would have appear in my history of life. However, i swear, if he was charging at my partner. I won't be able to hold back. I swear i would show him the madness of the Demon God! The one i had in my nightmares this few days. The other me of uncontrollable stage!

"Do you smell, whats the rock is cooking?"

2011-01-23T11:51:00.003+08:00

"Do you smell, whats the rock is cooking?"

IT WAS FISH!!!!!
Yeah! I could smell something fishy lately.
Now I had truly understand the statement i read on my lecture notes,

"Man is by nature a political animal"-Aristotle.

We act just like the way the wolves are.

Wolves live in a pack of family. They hunt together, sleep together and share things together.

However, when one of the wolf are injured and getting weaker, the leader of the wolf would just decided to ignore the helpless wolf and other wolves would just follow.

We will always stick to the strongest wolf as the leader and left behind the weak and helpless wolf.

Everyone of us has our strength and weakness, human aren't born perfect.

And we didn't realize each other weakness at first, only after we had spent months building up our relationship that we will finally found out the weakness of the other.

And there are some time that the leader would highlight the others to look upon the weakness of one of the member.

They will be so blinded by the black dots on that member's shirt, that they had neglected the other beautiful decorations the shirt has.

They will be focus on his/her mistake in life that they will ignore the changes he made or the correction he tried to archive.

As time passes, they will eventually kick that member out of their group.

And I found it a common practice in UTAR.

Ever since foundation, I had been in different groups and the politics game of "boy-coting" is being practiced in every groups.

We can describe this situation as the SURVIVAL GAME tv series.

Where everyone of a group members will started to work well together and eventually adapting to each other.

However, every time they had failed a game, the members would started to put the blame on someone.

And that person will ended up voted out of the community.

In life, is always about SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!

If you don't wish to be thrown out of the group, then stay strong and high.

Showing only your strength and hide your weakness under you sleeves.

And the best way of avoiding being the victim is to play the game of every groups well!
Not just one group!

P.S Never only look at the weakness of your friend, always bear in mind that true friends are meant to accept the strength and weakness of a friend. Cuz we aren't perfect ourselves!

Discipline of Life

2011-01-23T11:29:00.002+08:00

As I am getting older every year, I had came to realize that discipline is the most crucial in our life.Discipline wasn't just about the strict training and strict rules and regulation we saw on military training video. Discipline is defined as the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior.However,from my point of view, discipline is a routine in life which we practice to live a better life everyday.

Yes, dad, I had disappointed you to finally come to realize it these days. But I had actually realize the important of discipline when i was in secondary school. It just that up until today, we who had realize the important to be discipline had actually ignoring our duty. We are so pamper when we were young that we didn't have to do the normal house work. All of us had great mum and great dad there to keep things ready for us. And some of us would even have maids at home preparing everything, from food to clothes, for us. We just sit back and watch cartoon or like me, play online game 24/7!

Now that I am at Year1Sem3 of my Degree life, i came to slowly adapting to the important of discipline in life. We usually plan our time ahead, but most of the time we tend to neglect it.Thus discipline is needed to allow us to work our plan well. And not only planned routine. Washing our toilet, clean up the kitchen after meal, iron the clothes before tomorrow classes and etc. everything is a discipline. A routine we must practice in life!

Is kinda late for me to realize it and practice it today.

However, it is never too late to start! (hopefully =.=!!!)

马来松赛跑

2011-01-16T02:53:00.007+08:00

每个人总会因环境而改变，

我觉得这种改变好比马来松赛跑一样，

不停不停的改变，不停不停的奔跑！

就好像非常害怕会被环境或者身边的人淘汰一样而死命的奔跑着！

这样的跑法我叫它“人比人的跑”！

因为一直希望不被他人淘汰而一直逼自己奔跑！

这样最后只会弄到自己筋疲力净！

人比人很辛苦的！因为人比人只会比死人！

我个人比较喜欢“自己跟自己的影子跑”，

每天都有一点点地改变，

每天都要强调自己今天会比昨天做得好，

而明天会比今天做得好，后天会比明天做得更好！

这样的改变法，强调着每天都努力让自己去进步，

就算是每天都那么少许的进步，我们都要相信自己最后一定能做得到！！

每一天都要努力让自己往前走一步，

一步一步的走，一步一步的成长！

头也不往回看，不停的向前迈进！

P.S: 改变的第一步在于今天，不是明天！;)!

We are from two different world

2011-01-09T20:43:00.002+08:00

We are from two different world,

Yes. I can clearly see that from the way you are avoiding me.

Not that i am too inferior for the much elegant you,

but it was you who had shut me out from your world.

I wonder why is it so hard to be just friends.

Just because i fall for you doesn't mean that I am bad guy!

Sometimes i would rather to hate you as my brain tell me to,

and things would be much simple and easy for me.

I won't have to be so confuse with what you are thinking and being so complicated with myself.

But i just can't! I can't make myself to hate someone who hate me just because i feel that she is pretty...

There isn't a reason for me to hate you...

I had learned a lot last year.

In just 2 semester in my degree life, i noticed that no matter which direction i am trying to head, i will still be pulled back to the same position.

You and me, are from different world, and possessed a very different path.

And i would always remain in my own path.

Toward my goal, toward my dream.

To maintain what my performance is hard enough, to archive much improvement is sound impossible for me.

But a dream is never archive without action.

I would sacrifice everything for my dream, and this time i sacrifice for the sake that i love my future not the sake of others!

I pray that i shall not make you as an enemy!

Goodbye 2010! Welcome 2011!

2010-12-30T23:58:00.002+08:00

2010, toughest year i had been thru. I had managed to climb from bottom to top and yet felt from top to bottom.

2011, a year full of all sort of challenges which i would face with my burning soul!

"Put Horse Come! 2011!"

She just the girl i am looking for..

2010-12-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

She's cold and she's cruel

But she knows what she's doin'

She pushed me in the pool

At our last school reunion

She laughs at my dreams

But I dream about her laughter

Strange as it seems

She's the one I'm after

[Chorus:]

Cause she's bittersweet

She knocks me off of my feet

And I can't help myself

I don't want anyone else

She's a mystery

She's too much for me

But I keep comin' back for more

She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

She can't keep a secret

For more than an hour

She runs on 100 proof attitude power

And the more she ignores me

The more I adore her

What can I do?

I'd do anything for her

Cause she's bittersweet

She knocks me off of my feet

And I can't help myself

I don't want anyone else

She's a mystery

She's too much for me

But I keep comin' back for more

She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

And when she sees it's me

On her caller ID

She won't pick up the phone

She'd rather be alone

But I can't give up just yet

Cause every word she's ever said

Is still ringin' in my head

Still ringin' in my head

She's cold and she's cruel

But she knows what she's doin'

Knows just what to say

So my whole day is ruined

Cause she's bittersweet

She knocks me off of my feet

And I can't help myself

I don't want anyone else

She's a mystery

She's too much for me

But I keep comin' back for more

Cause she's bittersweet

She knocks me off of my feet

And I can't help myself

I don't want anyone else

She's a mystery

She's too much for me

But I keep comin' back for more

Oh, I keep comin' back for more

She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

Just the girl I'm lookin' for

I'm lookin' for

Just the girl I'm lookin' for

New Year Resolution

2010-12-29T14:34:00.003+08:00

1. Maintain or improve CGPA 3.30 (this sem sure going down...T.T)

2. Military Training (Discipline training for body workout)

3. Know more friends n try not to be An ENEMY! Cuz i would be 1 HELLish horrible enemy!

4. Try to enjoy less n work harder for dream!

5. Get a LIFE! Say no to GAME!!

Wasting time...

2010-12-06T21:13:00.003+08:00

Today wasn't the day for me. Haven't been touching my notes for the whole day even thou i know that final is just few days away. Maybe i am just being lazy or i am just emo today. I had spent the whole day playing games like there is no tomorrow... I didn't even notice that i had left just a few day to revise for my final.. Even thou i often brag in front of others that i had aimed a high target this sem. But i guess now things wasn't the way i wanted it to be..

Please starting tomorrow, please return myself back to normal..
i had an important reason for not getting an awful result this sem again..
God bless!

Walking out of the shadow...

2010-12-06T03:00:00.005+08:00

No matter how hard i tried,
I found myself living in the shadow of the past,
not the past failure, but the past "relationship".

I doubt that i miss her...
but i think i started somehow or somewhat miss the present of "someone" in my life.
The very "someone" who willing to stand by your side,
the very "someone" who willing to give you all the support you need,
and the very "someone" who willing to share your love with.

I guess we never know something or someone is precious for you until you lost it?
Well, she indeed is a very nice gal. A girlfriend i could be very proud of... Indeed!

However, things just wasn't the same anymore.
Today, I listened to the very "song" that i tried to indicate to her that i wish for a break up...
tears flows down my chins like the flow of the waterfall.... rushing out non-stop..
I don't know myself, that whether i miss her or i just feeling lonely somehow...

walking slowly, slowly, and slowly,
clinching on everything on the path,
i couldn't afford for a stop,
even every small step counts a little,
for the very own me to walk out of the shadow....
till i had walk out of this shadow,
i shall not allow myself to embrace another light...

It takes more than just strength to walk out of the shadow.
Rapid flow of Time might be able to flush over the past shadow,
but while we are in the shadow itself, the only thing we could do...
is to pray sincerely to be able to stand in the shadow..

Man can be very selfish being,
I am selfish too...
I had to clinch on you now,
holding on as much longer as i could...
even there is a path full of hatred, a path of pain created from you
i will be walking this path as the feeling deep inside me could never be denied...

Another Sleepless Night...

2010-11-29T04:40:00.002+08:00

Its been almost 6 days...
Everynight, no matter how hard i tried to sleep,
i am still failed to do so.
Everytime i will wake up in the middle of the night around 2am+ and stayed awake until 5am...

Somehow i wonder why myself being so restless...
worry?
emo?
I don't really know...
The way i feel is as if i had lost something or i am going to lost something important to me forever...
no matter how i did, i still failed to have a good rest in this few days..
I had tried to drink milk, eat some biscuit, do push ups and read books.. but still i am fully awake until early morning...

Goodnight Goodnight - Maroon 5

2010-11-22T00:15:00.000+08:00

"Goodnight Goodnight"

You left me hanging from a thread we once swung from together
I’ve lick my wounds but I can’t ever see them getting better
Something’s gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

Her hair was pressed against her face, her eyes were red with anger
Enraged by things unsaid and empty beds and bad behavior
Something’s gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I’m sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of the heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah
Whoa

The room was silent as we all tried so hard to remember
The way it feels to be alive
The day that he first met her
Something’s gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

You make me think of someone wonderful, but I can’t place her

I wake up every morning wishing one more time to face her
Something’s gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I’m sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right

So much to love
So much to learn
But I won’t be there to teach you, oh
I know I can be close
But I try my best to reach you

I’m so sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah
Whoa, oh…
Yeah

让梦想起飞！let our dream fly!

2010-11-20T01:23:00.004+08:00

Lately I had been posting very frequently on my blog...
However I wasn't being emo.
I am just stating my stand clear to myself!
Constantly reminding myself what not to do, and what i should do!

Today I went for my friend performance in a competition.
I was catched by a song named 梦想起飞.
When i was listening the song, i had felt there is a power in me responding to the song...
Maybe this is just how i felt deep in my heart!

I had a dream!

This is what different the me most, compared to what i had been during pre-U and degree. I finally had a dream that i would fight for!
Yes! Everyone of us here is pursuing our dream now together in UTAR.
Whether be it education, music or even arts, we, my friends, are always together to pursue our dream!
Lets not give up!
My dream is very easy....To be success!

What do i mean in success? Easy!
To be able to give what I had promised others,
to be able to change or to improve for a better living,
to be able to be the man who could protect and ensure my partner in future!
To be able to hold the ground without any backing and finally to Have a family where i can call home!

学习放手

2010-11-19T01:51:00.002+08:00

我只能努力的学习放手，
放开心中她们的影子，
对不起！我做不到无情！
所以我需要的只是一些时间而已！

但是我还有理智，我了解我应该怎么做。。。
离开我办不到，
只有学习去忘记，学习去忘掉以往，忘掉现在！
活着的都只有为了将来！

Who Moved My Cheese?

2010-11-15T19:13:00.002+08:00

Today, as usual, our Sun zhi's Lecturer had shown us a few video.
But today video was something that had caught my attention most.
Even thou it was just a typically short animation of just 2min. Named "Who moved my cheese?"
However the meaning of this animation wasn't just being about cheese.
Is about our life!!

Sometimes i understand that in my life i had been very stubborn with everything i do.
Sometimes i would call this possessive or extremist.
Why did i said so? Well, it wasn't just me who think that i am an extremist.
My friends, my family members and even maybe my ex would agree that i live in a way that either i get what i want with everything i had, or i don't get it at all!

On my relationship lately, somehow i knew that i am being somewhat possessive.
I couldn't really let go of the one i love and the other that i like. (horny? haha!)
But now that the condition had been this way, i had to learn to let go of the cheese i had lost and try to find a new cheese.
Not only about relationship.
Even when we decided to do something but we failed, that was the time we look for another alternative.

I used to dream to be a doctor just like my old man. But the naiveness of me had cost me to failed during my pre-U not only once, but twice.
Today i had been here in Degree after 5 years+ from my SPM i had been trying my very best
to archive another dream of mine.
It wasn't easy to survive in a competitive environment in UTAR.
I realized this and i heard a lot of advice on this even before i enter UTAR.
But i would like to take on this opportunity to equip myself as much as i could during my degree life.
Before i enter the "friendly" environment in the community.

Hope that those who lost their cheese once, understand there is always other cheese out there. Just put down the past, and go forward to the unknown and cross all the obstacle pose ahead to gain your very own cheese!
Trust me!
It is somewhere out there! The cheese of success is somewhere between the maze of hardship!

"When you change what you believe, you change what you do!"
Believe in yourself!

战鼓响了！

2010-11-09T00:16:00.004+08:00

最近几个晚上都睡立不安。
我想都是最近玩得太疯狂了，荒废了学业！
内疚起来咯！
连续几个礼拜都想着玩的。
还整天玩电脑呢！
Assignment 都没心情做，书也没动到，notes也带着走走罢了。。。
心不在焉！

谁偷走我的心哦？
不！应该说是什么偷走我的心。。。
因为我的心是被一个简单的笑容迷倒的。。。

哈哈哈！！
没有啦！其实是我自己堕落罢了！
没心没肺的过日子。
没有目标，没有推动力，没有方向，到处流浪。。。迷路了？？

今天week4咯！
很快就要final了！但是我和大家一样都还在发梦的。。。还没醒呢！

不！！我不能忘记我答应我自己的目标！！
战鼓已响起！备战状态开动！！
努力吧！要努力走我的路！
因为这条路是我选的，我没遗憾！
就算我有时候有点。。。desperado
哈哈哈！！别怪我嘛！我也是控制不了的呢！

但是我很想说：“原来单身真的蛮自由的哦！”
要做什么都可以！哈哈！

对咯！今天还遇到了前女友呢！
没打听清楚她最近怎么样，因为我赶着回，所以就吓吓她和她的朋友就走人了。
希望她还好吧！
好歹我也曾经爱过她。。。
我给不到的，我也真心希望她得到！

走吧！别再堕落！
我们没有时间去emo了！
这条路不能后退，也不能停止，只有向前走！

孙子曰：凡先处战地而待敌者佚，后处战地而趋战者劳。

答案是B！

2010-11-05T00:52:00.002+08:00

不管怎么样，我还是觉得答案是B!
不是说有feel就去行动，有spark就是对的了！
什么苏州过河无艇搭？！
如果她嫌我麻烦，什么苏州的，什么spark的。。都不用说。。
就只有一句。。。
我会消失！

我很讨厌被人恨的感觉，尤其被喜欢的人恨更加难耐！
真的！我以前也有过一样的感觉。

有时候我真的真的希望能像之前那样，
看到对方时笑一笑，互相问候。。。
就像普通朋友那样，简简单单。。。
但是一切都太迟，只怪我表错情！

渴望的只是你简单的笑容，
讨厌的只是我现在的堕落！！

没有空间去爱，也没资格去爱！

2010-10-15T15:12:00.004+08:00

这个学期，我想把自己的内心封锁起来！
开放另一个我！

这个锁需要很长的时间才能被打开。
因为我真的不想再做坏男人了！
做坏男人真的很辛苦的，
被人恨，被人讨厌，被人怀疑。
不是，我没说我是好男人，只是不想再有那样的感觉。。。

我有好多，好多梦想；
很大的野心；
内心也没什么空间去容纳另一个。
是的。有时候，我也很渴望一个拥抱。
但是我知道，我也很了解，我不能再爱了！

爱，不但让我伤害了别人，也伤害了我自己。

我想，如果当时从没发生过，我还会像现在这样吗？
应该会的。
命运的安排我们不能否认。
该发生的事再怎么避免也避免不到的。
如果当时我没被这些儿女私情影响，我的成绩应该更满意的。
如果？没有如果！只有怎样去避免事情重演罢了！

把内心封锁，专心追梦去！

First Love - Utada Hikaru

2010-10-05T23:24:00.002+08:00

English translation:

the last kiss
tasted like tobacco
a bitter and sad smell

tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?

you are always gonna be my love
even if i fall in love with someone once again
i'll remember to hold on
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until i can sing a new song

the paused time is
about to start moving
there's many things that i don't want to forget about

tomorrow, at this time
i will probably be crying
i will probably be thinking about you

you will always be inside my heart
you will always have your own place
i hope that i have a place in your heart too
now and forever you are still the one
it's still a sad song
until i can sing a new song

you are always gonna be my love
even if i fall in love with someone once again
i'll remember to hold on
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
now and forever...

Sweetest Memory Bitter Feeling

2010-10-02T20:24:00.003+08:00

This few days I traveled to Penang to hangout with my bros. Along the way till spending time in Penang, everywhere I go, the sweetest memory flashes upon my eyes but the bitterness feeling strike upon my heart. Yesterday morning, I wondered alone in Queensbay Mall , walking the footsteps we once walked together. I kept asking myself, If I said I did love you, would you believe me?

She might be the factor, or the excuses I used for our break up. But do you know why did I wanted to break up so much? No, I didn't intend to break up with you just to be with her. My intention to her is just as a friend all the while. It is US who had cause the break up.

Kris Allen- The truth

Lyin' next to you
Wishing I could disappear...aay
Let you fall asleep
And vanish out into thin air..aay

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's the avalanche that looms above our heads.
And we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect
Tryin' not to let you down...ooww
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
while the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

I still keep your photographs
I remember how we used to laugh
I can keep on losin' sleep
If you're okay with being torn in half.

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's an avalanche that looms above our heads
But we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down...oww
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning
And let the rain come in.
Stop pretending that it's not ending
And let the end begin.

Oh yeah...

Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down...yeah
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

It's easier than telling the truth...

The truth is just too much for me to bear alone and I decided to runaway from it forever....
Leaving you behind, taking all the responsibilities which had been accumulated for years over my shoulder. I admit my irresponsibility and I understand I can't do anything to redeem my past mistake.

For now that I had been on a condition that something I did intend for, letting go both of them. Love or Like? It doesn't matter for me anymore.
I reminded myself everyday during finals that I AM A WARRIOR!
Even I admit I did had difficulties during that time on being a BAD GUY and a STUPID GUY.
BUT, I won't fall. I won't crumble.
I will fight! Till my last breath!
As I don't have any time nor chances to waste anymore.

This, my degree, is my LAST BATTLE to archive what I want!

"For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision,
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day!
Such is the salutation to the dawn."-part of Salutation of Dawn, Kalidasa.

This poet I read from a book. It remind me to left the past, stop worrying about tomorrow but give everything I had, my enthusiasm, my concentration and my effort into what lies on my hand now.
Hope you can do it too!

P.S. Btw, I don't like being a stranger. I still put you both as a friend of mine. If you need anything just sms me. I'll be there!

Memories tend to bring tears

2010-09-29T15:34:00.004+08:00

Memories tend to bring tears but I won't cry or sad.
Cause those memories are the sweetest things I had with her.
I will kept them in a safe, which is locked deep inside my heart.

I had enough hurting someone, I ought not hurting another.

I will continue my life and learn from my mistake!
No! Loving her was never a mistake,
she is perfect, I am not;
Loving her let me realize what loves is.
The mistake is, I should had break up with her sooner before hurting her so much.

迷路了，我也会自己走！

2010-09-27T23:26:00.011+08:00

大考终于结束咯！Degree的第一个学期也终于可以画上一个句号了。。。
短短一个学期就那么多的事情发生了！

从我重新面对生活新的挑战，
遇到了她，马步停蹄的忙学业，
和女友分手了，心被开枪，
大考前学会一个人从低爬起。。。

虽然我这学期成绩没那么理想，
但是这个学期里真的让我学到了很多人生起起落落，
也让我找到了另一个我。

这几天我便忙着应付大考，
便在无边境的沙漠里，
一片一片的把我破碎的心拾回来。
虽然受伤不少，但是总比完全消失好！

老爸，我知道你说过要我把儿女私情放在一旁，
但是你跟我说这句话的时候已经太迟了！
对不起！那时我已经丧失了自我！

迷路了，我也会自己走！
不必来安慰我，也不必来给我拥抱！
这条路再怎么难走我也会一直走下去的！
放心！我和别人不一样！

中五毕业后，我都一直跌下去，
人生都毫无目标的沉迷在电脑世界里。
但是这几年来都让我体会到，人生不能永远逃避的！
不管你逃到天涯海角，
你都需要面对生活，面对你人生的责任！

逃避不是懦夫，是笨蛋！因为逃避只会让你面对更多负担！

现在的我已经厌倦了逃避，为了尽快的离开从前的失败，
今年的我已经开始改变了。
而我的改变就是所有事情的因果。。。

不！我没改变，我还是我，
只是人生有了梦想，有了野心，
虽然我的心被偷了，但我还是会把它夺回来！
让我的野心再燃烧吧！

可能是身边朋友都是音乐才能，
我开始爱回吉他，
希望通过吉他慢慢的找回自我！

我常常问我的朋友：“你来大学是为了什么呢？”
对！我们大家来大学的目的就是要拿到大学文斌！
而且如果是要拿到更好的文斌，我们就要学会

吃得苦中苦，方为人上人！

这里我要提醒我，我对自己说过：

Without my future, I'm Nothing!

所以下个学期也要加倍的努力！
搞好学业和多健身！
让我重新建立我的信心。

而且我也想开始培养读书的好习惯，
故事书也好，课本也好，名人写的书也好，
只要是能让我远离“非死不可！”，这电子书的书就好！

智慧是一种武器，也是让人崇拜的东西！
而智慧就是靠自己慢慢研究，探索的！
而我觉得书本就是智慧的来源！

哈哈！怎么样？感觉我忽然好像很忙的？
对！我就要为了自己而活！
盲目的填满我的野心！
让我远离复杂的感情世界！
行尸走肉(Single/solo）的过生活！！

当爱与不爱都会受伤，我会选择自爱！

根据Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs，
我已经有了，physiological needs，safety needs，
有了一班好友(social needs)，
现在要搞好学业建立信心(Self-esteem needs)，
慢慢的培养读书寻找智慧(Self-Actualization needs)。

哈哈！Theory 是很多啦！但是能不能成功哦？
我想还是要考验我的决心咯！
好了！今晚就吹水到这里咯！
下次再来！

Holiday Mood: ON

2010-09-25T23:29:00.003+08:00

大考还剩最后一张纸呢！

但是可能大家都已经放假的关系，我的holiday mood 也跟着on了！
这个放假我给自己定了很多人生目标呢！

多读书（培养读书的习惯），学吉他，建身,戒女人，戒非死不可，戒粗口！
找老友，帮父亲大人，多陪老妈（之前放假都陪女友，现在就很多时间孝敬老妈咯！）

是的！kaemin说得对！前面几个我不可能做到的！哈哈！
但是我还是对自己包着很大的希望。
自己答应自己的事都弄不好，我真的不敢乱乱和别人许下任何诺言咯！

今天是我前女友的生日呢！
九二六，这个数字应该会让我想起很多很多回忆，
酸甜苦辣都有！
因为这四年多里我们都经历了很多很多事。。。

忽然想起当时我还打算送她王力宏专辑和一条很有意义的项链当生日礼物呢！
那个项链是有力宏签名的情人项链。
但是现在？
哈哈！那两个专辑和两个项链都被我藏了起来！
完全没有勇气去面对它们。
原来放弃也是需要勇气的！

其实我一直都在担心她，
每天都抽些时间去她的部落格看看，
很可惜的是，我对她的伤害真的很深呢！
看她那么伤心痛苦我也很伤心。
怎么了？我还以为他们说感情界当坏男人总比好男人好？
为什么我会那么痛苦呢？
我爸说，
人生就像一条条的线，
开始都是并行的，
日子久了就会揉在一起，
过后又回到并行的时候，
将来还有机会交叉吗？
这真的只能看缘份呢！

她给我家的感觉，我当时是想送她家的项链，自己穿心形的。。。
现在的心已经无家可归！

知道啦！自己找来的嘛！
但是下一次我找到一个家给我的心时
就算打死我我也不会离开了。。。

舍得舍得，有舍就有得；得失得失，有得就有失。多么舍不得的，该失去的终该失去。。。

Appreciate What You Have

2010-09-20T17:57:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wish that my life can be much simple....

But, Hey! Aren’t us the one who make our life so much complicated.

Let make it simple then!

How?

Start by appreciate what you have around you.

Appreciate those around you,

Appreciate what you have now,

Appreciate what had been given to you by others,

Appreciate everything in life.

Life is simple when you are grateful to yourself.

Linkin Park - "In The End"

2010-09-17T00:15:00.001+08:00

It starts with
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time

All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away

It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Or wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how

I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised

It got so far
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end

You kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

要吐的人生！

2010-09-16T10:43:00.003+08:00

我连看到我自己的人生都想要吐呢！
那来什么战斗力量应付明天大考呢？
我朋友问我，难道你没有压力吗？
不是没有，只是我觉得麻木了！
面对压力，我完全没有恐惧感！
但是面对感情嘛？
我真的很害怕了！
我真的知道错了！
我看我真的要在感情界里“戒肉”！
戒个三四年的，让我能专心读书！
毕业后再来烦吧！
要做到：色就是空，空就是色！
干脆出家当和尚也不错的！
但是不能喝酒会很辛苦咯！
哈哈哈！！

昨天大考时，都会觉得很想笑，
笑我的人生为什么会沦落到这样？
连看着考卷都有种想要吐的感觉！
喂！我没开玩笑咯！真的有种想吐的感觉呢！
我也不知道为什么的！
就像现在一样，肚子有种怪怪的感觉，
好像狠不得把所有东西都吐出来那样！

放心啦！试题是有做啦！
但是那个心还是到处飞。。。
唉！南无阿弥陀佛！南无阿弥陀佛！
求神拜佛！
还我我的心吧！让我有个心来面对生活，
至少有心面对明天的ATOMIC STRUCTURE咯！
我不想再死下去了！很难看！！

手紙~Angela Aki~獻給未來的你~

2010-09-15T20:32:00.001+08:00

Miley Cyrus - The Climb

2010-09-14T11:06:00.001+08:00

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

I Love your smile, I like hers too; But i hate mine!

2010-09-13T18:14:00.001+08:00

I felt I m kinda funny lately...

It seem that I got myself stuck in between two gals,

one whom i love, yet I break up with her;

one whom i like, yet I am hated by her.

What the hell am i being thru now?

I dunno man!

Is it a life cycle?

Or is it a Karma?

When you hurt someone who loved you most,

you gonna take the bitter pills yourself too one day!

For God's Sake, I pray hard that I won't fall in love with another girl for

this hellish 3 years in UTAR anymore!!!

I couldn't afford any opportunity or any time wasted on girls man!

My Life is Miserable Unless I make it Better!

Without you - Hinder

2010-09-11T10:44:00.001+08:00

Hey, my ex, if you are reading my blog I had a song dedicated to you. Maybe one day you will sing this same song to me? haha!

坂本龍一(Ryuichi Sakamoto) Merry Christmas,Mr Lawrence

2010-09-10T11:15:00.002+08:00

This song really soothes my heart...

没那么简单

2010-09-08T09:46:00.000+08:00

Just the way you are-Bruno Mars

2010-09-05T16:23:00.000+08:00

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

小酒窩

2010-09-02T18:36:00.002+08:00

前些日子，burger女儿在我的facebook上post了这一首歌，小酒窝。
她说歌词里面的，
“小酒窝常见到是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着想念你的微笑
你不知道你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好”
非常适合现在的我呢！

哈哈！！也蛮对的咯！
可是当我去听这个mv时，忽然想起我曾经和前女友唱过这首歌。
那时候还在Alor Setar玩得蛮开心的！
可是才过了一个星期，我们就分手了。。。

突然我的心情变得好混乱，好复杂！
连我都忽然间不知道该想些什么好。。。
可以说是个酸甜交错吧！

痛哭一场

2010-09-02T16:49:00.004+08:00

好久没那么痛哭一场了。。。
我还以为我是个很坚强的男人，
我以为我不会像小学的我一样，
常常被人笑“哭包”！
但是今天的我真的很想哭，很想哭！
本来我刚开始还不知道要怎么哭，
没人安慰，不懂得哭，
因为一直以来我都会在她面前哭，
虽然只是电话上，
但是现在的我
没人安慰，
没人了解，
没人关心，
要怎么哭呢？

想到这里时，忽然父亲发了信息来，
我就打电话回家咯！
也没什么聊的，
父亲问问几句而已。
但是当我关上手机时，
我的眼泪就不由自己的流出来，
原来，痛哭一场也是心灵上的一种解压！

对不起！爸妈，你儿子我一直以来让你们失望了，
到现在还是成事不足，败事有余。
整天做些无聊的事来浪费时间，
是的，我打算放弃所有了！
只想为我自己而奔跑！

行尸走肉（Single and Solo)才是我独我的风范！
但是现在的退出不代表我放弃了，
我只是已经没勇气面对这些问题了，
现在的我只想把自己武装得更好，
让看不到见我的你，对我另眼相看！

I Shouldn't Rape another girl's Smile from her face

2010-08-28T16:40:00.004+08:00

I guess I Shouldn't "Rape" another girl's Smile from her face....
No! Please don't think something negative!
I mean I don't wish to forcefully took another pretty girl's smile
and cause her life full of miserable and tears.

I am still haunted by my mistake done before.
Yes, I do love my ex,
Just that my feelings itself is so confused and so blinded.

And for the mistake I had done,
I had made her suffer through all those painful days...
the more memories I had created for her,
the more she suffer.

It's so funny when her friends asked me,
IF YOU KNOW YOU WILL HURT HER, WHY DON'T YOU BREAK UP EARLIER?
LOL! If I knew I am going to hurt her, I guess I won't even start our relationship right?

I really don't know what I could do to make her feel better,
My mum called me few days ago and give me a lecture.
Asking me to promise her not to get into a relationship again...
Yeah.... After giving a few days of thought,
maybe I really shouldn't get into another mess.

I deeply apologize for the girls whom I loved and I like,
Guess what best,
was for me to stay away from their world totally!

Well, thats the way I am,
I loved the way they smile,
And I thought I could make them smile brighter,
But, I would just do the other way in the end...

I will always remember my friend's status on her FB,
If you Like someone, It doesn't mean you have to own her/him;
Sometimes it is better to be just friends and things would be much better!

A man without his word is no better than a beast!

2010-08-26T21:15:00.004+08:00

I had make lots of promise to friends, families and even my loved one,
promises which fills with lies!
Lies That is Sweet to Hear But Stained with Black!

But I had swear upon myself,
Not to my family, friends or lover,
When everyone else falls, I shall be the one who stand.

Even I had my family members and friends who stand besides me,
I felt that everything had left me,
everyone had left me,
Even GOD himself ditched me alone in this darkness.

Where I must fight for my own chance to survive!

I had really no rooms for mistakes,
no rooms for distraction,
no rooms for grieve!

I promised no one else,
other than myself!
It's my future that lies ahead of this road!
It is my duty and my only chance now to grab it hard!
Nothing shall stand in between me and my dreams!
And No one too!

For those that I had Lied,
I am truly sorry for not being the man that you had expected.
I wouldn't even expected that I had changed this much.
A change of heart?
A change of soul?
A change of Pride?
I had been full of pride of myself, where I had crushed it with my own hand,
to bring this matter out!
I feel no remorse!
Even being a black man, I feel no guilty!
I understand well that,
What must done is done sooner or later!
Where the later it gets, the harder we could fall!

I pray now to my GOD whom I believed had once forsaken me,
Prayed hard that I shall not fail myself and those around me anymore.

I had been TOOO TIRED to be A MAN of FAILURE!

是你让我想入非非，想当一个偷心雅贼...

2010-08-23T00:28:00.004+08:00

你的笑容已经霸占我的所有。。。
没有它的日子好辛苦呢！

我好想知道为什么你的笑容那么美？
为什么那么迷人呢？
我想知道你为什么能每天保持着那么灿然的笑容，
想知道你的更多，更多。。。
想要更接近你。。。
但是，我又害怕你会更讨厌我。

我终于知道为什么你让我有'她'的感觉了！
因为我深深的喜欢上了你了！

Smile

2010-08-16T20:03:00.005+08:00

Your smile are so nature, happy, and worries-less.

Which make me envy most!

Your smile are like drug for me,

I am addicted to it everyday!

Before I sleep, after I wake up, During class, During meals,

My mind just full of you, full of your smile.

Your smile drive me down to my knees..

struggling everyday to see them more often...

I never believed in love on first sight,

But now I do!

I felt deeply in love on your smile every moment pass...

As the time fly by, I felt more deeply into your smile..

Wonder when I could be able to stand up on my own...

有一种爱叫做放手

2010-08-15T20:14:00.001+08:00

生活中要记得这些！

2010-08-14T12:01:00.001+08:00

曾经拥有的不要忘记；

已经得到的更加珍惜；

属于自己的不要放弃；

已经失去的留作回忆；

想要得到的一定要努力；

累了把心靠岸；

选择了就不要后悔；

苦了才懂得满足；

痛了才享受生活；

伤了才明白坚强；

总有起风的清晨；

总有绚烂的黄昏；

总有流星的夜晚。

Let's move the path separately

2010-08-13T19:27:00.003+08:00

Today we went all the way back her uni and back hometown together,

For her not talking much this few days, suddenly we had been splitting venom at each others...

Can you imagine that few weeks ago we are still sweet talking to each others almost everyday?

The moment she left to get her stuff in her room in UUM,

I cried, for the first time since I mention the break up.

My tears flow all their way down my cheeks for all those she had shed in this few weeks.

Which I can only shed for a few minutes.

(I don't want my ex to see my sorry face! :P!)

I am hurt myself too, deeply!

It isn't easy for me to make such decision.

However I know that I had to be firm and show her an example to be strong to face this ending.

Now that she had totally hate me, I feel both sad and glad,

that at least I am sure she could be better now.

I had lost someone I loved most for all this years,

And so do she,

In exchange for a better future for both of us.

(i think so, not her... I admit my selfishness!)

After today we won't be in each others world,

where for all those time we had spent almost everything on...

Let's move the path separately!

And may her had a better future,

And pray that my decision is right...

P.S Thx my bros Kaemin, Daniel, Calvin, ah Gong and Allen for being with me all the time!

2010-08-12T10:47:00.002+08:00

I am the one who loved her,

I am the one who gave her everything,

I am the one who hurt her the most...

No, neither I wish to have it ended it this way.

But I really can't face her,

I can't love her the way I used to be.

The love will only be stain with red.

Thus I choose to hurt her now, than later.

I won't mind being the bad guy or black guy or whosoever,

I am just doing things the way I think is the best for us.

Final is just around the corner!

2010-08-10T18:59:00.003+08:00

After this midterm, there will be a few quiz and final soon.

No time for being emo.

I am lack of time now!

Every second counts!

Maybe i should try to stop 非死不可(Facebook) asap!!

(Isn't easy to do so..will end up failed too.. haha!)

So my friend, if anything please sms me or tell me on phone or meet me in Lecture. K?

Remind to self,

Better be prepared, than caught unprepared!!

GO GO GO!!!

I had just cut my wings, and that isn't Great!

2010-08-09T23:55:00.003+08:00

I had just cut my wings...
And it wasn't about being Great!
Is about being Stupid!

Do you understand how much courage I need to do so?
Do you know how hard it is for you to give up a perfect lady that you loved for four years?

But I hold no remorse, no regret,
I couldn't shed a single tears for her suffer...
My heart is harder than a steel...

I'm Sorry! I couldn't have a love full of lie!
I can't deny my heart had betrayed from our love.
I need time too,
time to recover,
time to stand,
time to regain my strength,
time to fight!

No one shall forgive the SIN, I commited.
But I know the SIN would be more if I deny it!

对！我很自私！

2010-08-08T02:26:00.003+08:00

其实事情不是一夜间的问题了，

我们已经分手过，

那时侯我已经尽量去否认我的错误。

昨晚看到你发的那个信息让我真的感到很内疚！

是我对不起你！

我没办法否认。。。

我真的挣扎得很累了。。。

我不想再欺骗你我了。。。

我做不到善意的谎言。

以前所度过的酸甜苦辣真的让我领悟到

真爱；

但是，就是因为爱到错了就该在更伤害大家时放手。。

我已经想清楚了。

我有我的梦想，

我有我的理智，

我有我的生活，

我不能再像以前那么的爱你了。。。

我不能为你而改变，

因为我已经改变，

但是我的改变只会带给你更大的伤痛，

再怎么勉强在一起也是在互相伤害。

所以我选择了放开，

在大家没更受伤前，

在大家没爱得更深前，

在大家没把爱传变成恨前。

我知道你很辛苦。

我也是！

我今天整天没有心情温习，

就连我在网吧里玩我最想玩的游戏，

我也只有麻木的感觉，

但是，长痛不如短痛！

放手也是一种爱！

要记得你还有你的家人，

你还有你的人生要走，

你还能找到一个比我更好的男人，

一个真正能给到你安全感的男人！

对不起！但是我很自私！

林峰-愛不疚

2010-08-07T09:07:00.000+08:00

收藏在眼眸常徘徊左右爱猜到没有

愉快玩笑後能全然退後你开心就够

这种感觉太亲厚讲一千句也不够

假使讲了你听到後或会走

这种恋爱太罕有不需真正拥有

成全衷心祝福然後就放手

放手放开所有彼此更自由

放手其实我绝非爱得不够

放手豁出所有还有这个好友

已经已经足够

遥远是宇宙静静在背後去看守就够

这种感觉太亲厚讲一千句也不够

即使一刹有过冲动挽你手

这种恋爱太罕有不需真正拥有

成全多舍不得仍然是放手

放手放开所有彼此更自由

放手其实我绝非爱得不够

放手豁出所有还有这个好友

已经已经足够

放手我的牵挂找不到尽头

放手期望你幸福甚麽都有

也许爱很深厚然而我早看得透

放手至可拥有

有些。。。

2010-08-07T00:34:00.001+08:00

有些事，我们明知道是错的，也要去坚持，因为不甘心
；有些人，我们明知道是爱的，也要去放弃，因为没结局；
有时候，我们明知道没路了，却还在前行，因为习惯了。

我虽然很忙，不代表我没时间爱你！

2010-08-05T11:46:00.003+08:00

我可以做到恨心，

但我不原意那么做，

就因为我爱你是个无可否认的事实！

我忙碌是为了给你更好的，

如果你觉得你不要，

不需要房子;

不需要Honda City;

不需要一个好男人养活你，

让你不必面对老板的脸色，

顾客的脾气;

更不需要Prada, Gucci, Volkswagon,

那么你就跟我说一声，

让我好好的享受着我的大学生活！

每天去玩，每天陪你聊，陪你恩爱，

难道我不想么？

为什么我每天都要保握时间马不停蹄的向前冲刺？

别忘了哦！现在社会里，大学生多得很！

如果我要成功我就应该付出更多！

马币两千八薪水能让你我有个安定的家吗？

Life is Wonderful-Jason Mraz

2010-08-05T10:59:00.002+08:00

It takes a crane to build a crane

It takes two floors to make a story

It takes an egg to make a hen

It takes a hen to make an egg

There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word

And it takes some words to make an action

It takes some work to make it work

It takes some good to make it hurt

It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn

And it takes a day to make you yawn brother

And it takes some old to make you young

It takes some cold to know the sun

It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love

But it takes you years to know what love is

It takes some fears to make you trust

It takes those tears to make it rust

It takes the dust to have it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la la life is so full of

Ah la la la la la la life is so rough

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la la life is our love

Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound

It takes a loss before you found it

And it takes a road to go nowhere

It takes a toll to make you care

It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ha la la la la la life is wonderful

Ha la la la la la life is meaningful

Ha la la la la la life is wonderful

Ha la la la la la life it is...so... wonderful

It is so meaningful

It is so wonderful

It is meaningful

It is wonderful

It is meaningful

It goes full circle

Wonderful

Meaningful

Full circle

Wonderful

I wish i could be perfect!

2010-08-03T22:58:00.003+08:00

By listening to this song, I wish I could be perfect too!
I wish i never had done all my mistake during Pre-U and had normal degree life

and be a normal guy.

NOT BEING A FAILURE >.<"!

Is just now that I dream of being perfect now,

I tend to force myself to be so.

Perfect in every way i could.

Sharpening all my skills my talent my studies my social in one time...

But even with lots of friends, I am here, ALONE!

A Lonely soul feast by it's LUST!

LUST of being Sucess!

LUST of being better!

LUST of no longer being a failure!

Even thou I had always thought that I m perfect on my relationship...

But now it seem to be imperfect,

I don't know what wrong,

I am just NO LONGER PERFECT in the way I was!

Sigh,

I wish i could be perfect! But I doubt that I could...

Tired Of Being a Coward!

2010-08-02T17:56:00.005+08:00

So much things to do yet so little time available...

This is my degree life!

And this week is the busiest week of all...

Atomic Report, PR quiz, Cell Biology quiz, PR assignment and cell bio report.

Luckily i am exempted from Pengajian Malaysia and thus free from Midterm :P!

Dont blame me! I am old enough to study anymore Sejarah!

Even thou it used to be my favourite subject in secondary school...

but i dislike it now! haha!

For all my frens out there who has Pengajian Malaysia Midterm

and even some with presentation,

GAMBATEH!!

Time passed by real fast.

6 weeks left for finals and I am still not prepared yet.=.=

Yes! You might say that 6 weeks is still far and doesnt need to worry.

DUDE! Better be caught prepared than being caught unprepared!

There are lots of temptation around us affecting us

Causing us unable to concentrate on studies,

Temptation like... STAR CRAFT II!!! AWwwWWWWW!!

I WANNA PLAY THIS GODD*MN GAME!!!

However,I had enough of my life in virtual world!

Now that i had chosen to walk the path in my reality world, i will never turn my face away from it anymore.

I will fight! And Fight! And fight! Until the last breath draw from me.

I am tired of running away from the reality!

Tired of being a coward!

Now, is the time that I will strike without guilt nor remorse.

P.S GOOD LUCK TO ALL On the quiz and midterm! Don't get tempted like I do! :P

真正的爱是……

2010-07-27T21:10:00.000+08:00

爱是我雖有缺陷，但你總對我不離不棄。

爱是遇到困難，你總會抓緊我。

爱是多難走的路，你總在旁照料著我。

爱是人生將到盡頭，仍有你牽著我的手。

爱是能執子之手，與子偕老.....

真正的爱不是片刻激情，而是一生一世的同行……

Am i Ego?

2010-07-24T13:08:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, one of my friend mentioned that i am an ego guy and others frens join into agree too!

Ego? It's the first time one had describe me that way.

According to the dictionary its is define as a person's sense of

self-esteem or self-importance.

I not sure myself am I really ego?

I had been living my life since secondary school by setting myself a few principle of practice.

My principle is what that control how I am behave.

Not sure bout what you think, but for me, I strongly believe that I had my principle

which It's hard for me to go against it!

No matter what reason I gave myself, I cant change my principle of practice

which I am sure to follow.

It's like my code of conduct to restrain myself doing things the harm way. Haha!

Moreover I am kinda stubborn guy!

What I think is right is always right, and it's hard for me to accept others.

I do admit it is one of my weakness which I think it will need some time to change.

Are this what make me being ego?

Please feel free to share some comment here! :)!

Btw, my new EGO look! Muhahhahaha!

爱情荒

2010-07-19T23:30:00.001+08:00

歌曲：爱情荒

歌手：曾国珲

曾经爱住在离我们不远的地方

浪费这幸福的资源挥霍着时光

谁和谁很好不要就不要

以为永远就永远不老

如今整个世界都在闹着爱情荒

敢和盗两个梦都要

坚持快坚持不了只能祷告

我不要因为孤单而拥抱

因为渴望而寻找

随便找个人靠

我知道还有人和我一样

等待就是唯一的力量

心中存活着一些希望

解救我对真爱的信仰

当初我们爱到什么都随手可怕

因为问题也会随时间偷偷溜掉

堆积着烦恼是与非颠倒

爱都快没了还在骄傲

如今整个世界都在闹着爱情荒

我真的有被寂寞到

爱不是爱是需要

越陷越糟

我不要因为孤单而拥抱

因为渴望而寻找

随便找个人靠

我知道还有人和我一样

等待就是唯一的力量

心中存活着一些希望

解救我对真爱的信仰

我不要因为孤单而拥抱

因为渴望而寻找

随便找个人靠

我知道还有人和我一样

等待就是唯一的力量

心中存活着一些希望

解救我对真爱的信仰

Stressful but L.A.Z.Y Life!!!

2010-07-19T01:16:00.004+08:00

Just happened to saw in the star online,

Prof.Chuah said only 7.8% of students that graduate got first class honor.

7.8% !? WALAO!! I sure no chance lar!! T.T!

Last week quiz i got 6/10 which i got deducted 3 marks just because my answer doesn't please my lecturer...

Really disappointed with myself.

I guess i can't blame others but myself!

I am getting distracted even more and more..

So many things come to my mind, swaying me back to what i used to be...

L.A.Z.Y

With the rate I am now, i couldn't even think of getting good result enough for this semester.

Gosh! I am so worry! I am so Stress!

I envy those who can study so well, so hardworking and so determined.

I pray hard now... No more distraction please!!

Jackson! STAY FOCUS!! *punch* *PUNCH* *punch*!!

Ouch!!... End up still the same... hehe!

Build Body, Build Confident, Build Better Appearance

2010-07-10T17:56:00.006+08:00

Ever since things getting smoother between me and her,

i tend to feeling the eager of moving toward the right path now.

Yeah! I deeply apologize for freaking my friends and her friends out for sudden of status change in FB.

It's Just Complicated!

Now things getting better, NO worries! Thx for the concern too! hehe!

I am planning to have a more frequent workout to build a better body.

Yes daddy! I know I need to study...=.="!

I promise i will arrange my time to balance both lar!!

But I think that having a perfect body will help building a perfect brain.

I felt much more refresh after a short jogging before studies.

I felt much confident with more frequent workouts.

Building body does not mean that i want to be a body builder.
However i do wish to have a perfect body shapes and stay away from my fatty tummy days!

Any tips anyone? Please feel free to share it with me!

My Way... A song for every young adult!

2010-07-08T21:52:00.001+08:00

張敬軒 - My Way

曲：張敬軒　
詞：張敬軒　
編：張敬軒

一直在醞釀　一直在盼望
爸爸和媽媽　唯一的理想
二月第—天　一九八一年
我第一次對他們眨了眨眼

等待快點過去多少個明天
希望這寶貝快快長大一點一點
身體要健康所有的事情都如所願
BABY 長大以後就是小軒

＊I WILL FIND MY WAY
I WANT A DIFFERENT WAY
AFTER THE WIND AND RAIN
THERE'LL BE A BRAND NEW DAY
小時候受傷有人心疼失落有人安慰
現在遇到困難自己就要學會面對

＃I WILL FIND MY WAY
I WANT A DIFFERENT WAY
NOTHING TO STOP ME NOW
NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY
困難要用我的堅強和努力勇敢面對
現在用心去追　感覺就對
I'LL FIND MY WAY

一直就這樣　找我的方向
不理會別人　奇怪的眼光
直到有一天　我忽然發現
夢想已經在實現

等待快點過去多少個明天
看著自己已經慢慢長大一點一點
我的生活應該讓我自己學會掌握
相信自己　不怕風雨再多

重唱　＊,＃

I WILL, I WILL FIND MY WAY
I'LL FIND MY WAY

问题

2010-06-26T09:26:00.003+08:00

我知道问题不是单方面。。。

或许你更会觉得是我单方面的问题！

但是我也在解决着它们啊！

我每天都努力面对着问题，向前冲刺！

因为我了解，我们两人之间需要一个愿意面对任何挑战的人！

我因此而改变！

跌倒了，就咬紧牙根，向前走。。。

如果你在看这blog,

我希望你能给我一些时间，

一些信任，

一些的爱。

我或许看起来非常坚强，

但是不会有人会相信我对你的依靠。。。

宝贝，我爱你！

A Goal is Set!

2010-06-24T11:59:00.004+08:00

I had a clear mind now, I understand what I really want and what I dont,

The Goal had been set! It's still the same goal. Just this time being

more firm and more assurance.

I understand no one is perfect! And I admit I am not perfect too...

However, I dream of being perfect.

And now I aim to be perfect.

I felt stressful, face lots of temptation and other different challenges,

But I still face them with a strong heart, of course all thanks to all my friends around me,

They had been giving me all the support now and then.

Stress, my friend, is something that mature one and not ruining one's life!

I felt challenging and excited with the goal I had set before and now...

I will now ensure myself reaching this goal by Setting 3E Rules!

Effective Efficient Excelence

Nothing else is important than my dream!

No! NOT even HER!

在跑"马拉松"的人生。。。

2010-06-18T23:44:00.003+08:00

我觉得人生就像在跑马拉松一样，

我不停的向前奔跑，

望着终点慢慢的前进着。。。

虽然我离终点还很远，

但是我无时无刻都会停下脚步，

望一望身后的朋友，

拉一拉他们的手，

要他们也别停下来！一起往前跑！

马拉松一个人跑会十分寂寞，

也很辛苦！

但是有着身边的朋友，

所有的问题也会一一克服一起前进的！

Hunger For Something....

2010-06-14T15:04:00.004+08:00

I had been a lot into my own world lately,

even some of my classmates misunderstand me saying that I am a total lone ranger.

I don't really enjoy being alone myself. I felt lonely too!

I just dont really bother by what I felt now...

There is something which is much bothering me.

Lately, there is a hunger inside me..

A hunger for something, like a thirst for blood.

I don't really know what I wanted myself so badly for,

But I can feel it inside me,

Burning deep inside my blood, inside my heart, inside my head!

There is a voice!

A firm and solid voice!

It kept saying to me:" NOW IS THE TIME!"

"NOW IS THE TIME FOR EVERYTHING TO BE STARTED FROM SCRATCH,

AND BUILD OVER FROM SCRATCH!"

I Wanted to make your wish come true

2010-06-12T19:03:00.004+08:00

It's been years since the day I asked you to be my girlfriend...

I still remember that moment I had been quite confidence thinking that who would reject a guy,

who is a son of a doctor; moreover a future doctor himself...

(that time I was too proud! I admit!)

We chosen a separated path as soon as our relationship just started moment ago,

For me, whom chase over my dream and left you for A level in Penang.

Promising you that it's all for our future as I am going to be a doctor...

However I didn't realize that I am indeed still naive at that time!

My naiveness had cost me a lot!

I had lost my confident, my strength, my dream

and my friends too!

And I was worrying you would left me for what I had become.

I remembered every time I failed my exam I will be calling you first,

begging you for your forgiveness, saying c2pid stuff like asking you to left me if i fail again...

And yet you scolded me for talking all this nonsense!

Years and years of struggle passed by,

I finally manage to step in the first step into my degree life when you are soon to be graduated!

This time I am worry that you would left me for someone else who is lots better than me!

Who would want a guy who is such a failure? I wonder...

But you had done so for years...

Loving me for what I had did to you,

Caring me whenever I needed you most,

Shed tears for with me for the hardship we been thru,

Holding my arms hard whenever we are together,

I couldn't make myself to ask for anything else from you anymore,

This time I would be the one who will fulfilling all your wish!

I will be a different man just for you!

Even thou I hated studies and really would like to enjoy my university life

for more than just reading everyday..

But I had to force myself to do so.

I know I might not be smart enough to gain a high archiver in UTAR,

However, I couldn't let myself give up even there is just 10% for archiving it!

I wanted to make your wish come true...

I wanted to give you all which I had promised so far...

Giving you a promising life forever!

The Road Not Taken

2010-06-09T21:23:00.002+08:00

After year and years of struggle, finally I managed to make it to degree life!

Yes! It's been 4 years+ that I had finished my SPM.

The moment of failure is hard to accept when more failure came one and another.

I had not only failed myself, but even failed everyone around me.

My friends, my family members and most importantly my parents!

I m blessed to have a father who forgive his son for all his sin!

Many thinks that I had been relieved after i had archived what I wanted so long...

NO!

This isn't what I wished for...

I used to wish to become a doctor like my father....

However, everything changed when life passed by.

Even I cant deny the cruelty of the reality!

I changed a lot in this years of struggle.

But there is one that never change for the time passed by.... I am WHO I AM!

I am still happily offering my help to those around me,

Happily living thru my life which is full of hardship!

I had always asked myself, "Why sad?"

Life is nothing that can be turning back but to walk forward with the flow!

Let us embrace a life full of challenge but yet full of happiness!

I will end this post with a short poem I modified from The Road Not Taken:-

Two road diverged in a yellow wood,

I had travel one which had been less taken,

One which had been full of mistake,

But I walked my path of mistake for it no longer a mistake!

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference

The poor has more humanism than the riches!

2010-04-29T01:06:00.003+08:00

I am burning midnight oil for my finals lately... while i was taking some time off from my notes on facebook i saw someone posted this meaningful video which i think is true ! This is what the cantonese has a saying that the beggar is even have much humanism than the norm. Please to watch this video. You will agree with me! :)!

JACKSONFOONG

火力全开

Love U U

I had Enough!

Maroon 5 - If I Ain't Got You

努力改变！努力回到我自己！

我很累，我想放弃所有！

"Goodbye!"

Moving Forward

Sometimes i look into tomorrow and forgotten i had today...

无济于事

有缘无分

Smile

刘德华-Slip Away (lyrics)

Retreat? Hell ya'!

另一个我

自私的我

Bii - 轉身之後

童话

别说，你懂天蝎

渴望着的微笑

四年后的情人节

热坏？累坏！

Gong Xi HUAT Chai!!

"Do you smell, whats the rock is cooking?"

Discipline of Life

马来松赛跑

We are from two different world

Goodbye 2010! Welcome 2011!

She just the girl i am looking for..

New Year Resolution

Wasting time...

Walking out of the shadow...

Another Sleepless Night...

Goodnight Goodnight - Maroon 5

让梦想起飞！let our dream fly!

学习放手

Who Moved My Cheese?

战鼓响了！

答案是B！

没有空间去爱，也没资格去爱！

First Love - Utada Hikaru

Sweetest Memory Bitter Feeling

Memories tend to bring tears

迷路了，我也会自己走！

Holiday Mood: ON

舍得舍得，有舍就有得；得失得失，有得就有失。多么舍不得的，该失去的终该失去。。。

Appreciate What You Have

Linkin Park - "In The End"

要吐的人生！

手紙~Angela Aki~獻給未來的你~

Miley Cyrus - The Climb

I Love your smile, I like hers too; But i hate mine!

Without you - Hinder

坂本龍一(Ryuichi Sakamoto) Merry Christmas,Mr Lawrence

没那么简单

Just the way you are-Bruno Mars

小酒窩

痛哭一场

I Shouldn't Rape another girl's Smile from her face

A man without his word is no better than a beast!

是你让我想入非非，想当一个偷心雅贼...

Smile

有一种爱叫做放手

生活中要记得这些！

Let's move the path separately

Final is just around the corner!

I had just cut my wings, and that isn't Great!

对！我很自私！

林峰-愛不疚

有些。。。

有些事，我们明知道是错的，也要去坚持，因为不甘心；有些人，我们明知道是爱的，也要去放弃，因为没结局；有时候，我们明知道没路了，却还在前行，因为习惯了。

我虽然很忙，不代表我没时间爱你！

Life is Wonderful-Jason Mraz

I wish i could be perfect!

Tired Of Being a Coward!

真正的爱是……

Am i Ego?

爱情荒

Stressful but L.A.Z.Y Life!!!

有些事，我们明知道是错的，也要去坚持，因为不甘心
；有些人，我们明知道是爱的，也要去放弃，因为没结局；
有时候，我们明知道没路了，却还在前行，因为习惯了。